8 Quick Things I Noticed While Rewatching “Honey I Shrunk The Kids”

Let me preface by saying this film holds up. Directed by Joe Johnston (who would much later make Captain America: The First Avenger) it is a fun high-concept adventure, and the first film that made me want to be an inventor. After seeing it I started stockpiling pieces of junk in … Continue reading

5 Things You Didn’t Know About The Melbourne Comedy Festival

As another Melbourne International Comedy Festival flops into its final week, it dawns on me how your Average Joe Goonbag knows so precious little about the machinations of this annual event. Well, kid, as a seasoned veteran who’s broken even more than a few times in this crazy ol’ fest, I’m … Continue reading

Young Bruce Wayne vs. the Old Young Bruce Wayne

If you’re a nerd like me who places Batman above politics, social acceptance and traffic safety, then you know there’s a new “Gotham” show in the works, one that’s been fast-tracked into a series without so much as a pilot, because Batman = Money. Only thing is, it doesn’t actually have … Continue reading

4 Reasons I Probably Didn’t Get That Job Writing For “Neighbours”

“Neighbours” was a traditional Australian custom that involved older people filming younger people having pretend arguments until the younger people felt confident enough to become pop-singers. A curious by-product of this odd process was a long-lasting soap that was packaged and shipped to England. Today, even though we have national … Continue reading

An Open Letter to Me (From My Housemate’s Cat)

You silly cunt. How I loathe you. But you’ve played right into my paws. When I jumped on the bench, I knew the spray bottle was on the other side of the house. You never stood a chance of reaching it in time. I didn’t even want to jump on the … Continue reading

Choosing the Right Cult For You

Raëlism. The Raëlians are into science, nonviolence, and very cosy-looking robes. Yep, I choose Raëlism as the right cult for you. Wow, short article! But hey, since we’re here, why don’t I also review some “personal-development” institutions that are totally-absolutely-in-no-way-legally-defined-as-cults? I only ask because I’ve recently road-tested 3 of Melbourne’s hottest! Now it’s worth noting … Continue reading