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Roll out the Red Carpet! Light the lights! Thaw out the Billy Crystal doll from cryosleep and give the joke writers from Home Improvement a job. Yes it’s the Oscars®™©don’tyoufuckingtrynothingbitch! So here, from a deep insiders perspective (my uncle is Tom Cruise’s gynaecologist plus Fabian once jerked it to Dunston’s … Continue reading
CLUSTERFUCK: The Movie A MACH/LAP review of Cloud Atlas. Stars: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugh Grant and Agent Smith. Firstly: Fucking Spoilers. Secondly: I don’t want to just be a negative naysayer, so lets look at this movie objectively without bias or vitriol; Cloud Atlas is a giant … Continue reading
400 WORDS OR LESS or Why I probably won’t get into film school. Recently, I decided to re-assess my overall life achievement of absolutely nothing and consider a concept that is something of an anomaly to many of us in the creative arts/unemployment industry: a career. Now surprisingly, my Bachelor … Continue reading
Stardate: Now Starlocation: here Star what the fuck am I doing with my life?: It’s 10:15 pm and I’m standing in the backstage lavatory at the State Theatre in Sydney trying to urinate. Technically I’m supposed to be working but so far I’ve done nothing except sit in the Green … Continue reading
RAISED BY WOLVES, SUCKLED BY MARMOTS, EDUCATED BY MORMONS. Growing up in Ballarat: a beginners guide to sodomy. Part IWhen at the tender age of three my parents announced they were moving from the concrete jungle of Croydon to the gold ridden town of Ballarat, a warm feeling of peace … Continue reading