Category Archives: CORDIAL VULGARITY

A Mach/Lap® Guide to the Oscars™

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  Roll out the Red Carpet! Light the lights! Thaw out the Billy Crystal doll from cryosleep and give the joke writers from Home Improvement a job. Yes it’s the Oscars®™©don’tyoufuckingtrynothingbitch! So here, from a deep insiders perspective (my uncle is Tom Cruise’s gynaecologist plus Fabian once jerked it to Dunston’s … Continue reading →

CLUSTERFUCK: The Movie

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CLUSTERFUCK: The Movie A MACH/LAP review of Cloud Atlas. Stars: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugh Grant and Agent Smith. Firstly: Fucking Spoilers. Secondly: I don’t want to just be a negative naysayer, so lets look at this movie objectively without bias or vitriol; Cloud Atlas is a giant … Continue reading →

400 Words or Less…

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400 WORDS OR LESS or Why I probably won’t get into film school. Recently, I decided to re-assess my overall life achievement of absolutely nothing and consider a concept that is something of an anomaly to many of us in the creative arts/unemployment industry: a career. Now surprisingly, my Bachelor … Continue reading →

FML #1: A Mighty Wind

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Stardate: Now Starlocation: here Star what the fuck am I doing with my life?: It’s 10:15 pm and I’m standing in the backstage lavatory at the State Theatre in Sydney trying to urinate. Technically I’m supposed to be working but so far I’ve done nothing except sit in the Green … Continue reading →